March

To be in the world and to dream

awake and softly sleeping,

one candle in the light of day

its flame not in comparison

to the awakening sun.

I wish quietly that you were here,

here in the empty pages,

here in the filtered light.

I prefer to write on canvas

seeing the truth

in the absence of sound;

where is your voice?

Nestled in my corner of madness

I smile at the peering eyes that guess

who am I?

Conversations buy wind

increasing the saturation,

perhaps it’s time for music?

Shall I dance alone

to the melody

as I have danced the dance

of ghosts gone by?

Or once,

once in the empty spaces

will you grab my hand,

that I might

be in the world; to not dream,

awake, no longer sleeping;

a universe

against the soft light of the sun.

Past

The day trembles forward,

one step then another.

This life spills out of the cup,

the cup that measures worth.

Worth.

Today I stew in the absence of purpose.

Who determines my steps?

This mind?

This breath?

This soul?

Too many voices,

I must clear this space.

Too many voices,

I won’t talk to nothing.

Silence fiends,

you robbers of joy that fills.

Silence heartbreak,

you devil that tastes my tears.

I have purpose.

I know where it lies.

I push,

like a seed pulling out its leaves

bursting from the earth

into love.

I am the sun.

I am the everything.

I am the morning,

the breath

and I choose,

to make everything new.

The rumbling stops.

For a moment I am still.

For a moment I am me.

You were once one

The crystal falls from heaven

shattering into a thousand pieces

its light scatters throughout the universe.

Your eyes, shatter like the raindrops

upon my bruised skin

you are like a thousand lights.

Entities taking shape

pulling in the fabric of all form

expanding and shrinking

changing and becoming still.

We took shape long ago,

you and I

expanding and shrinking

changing, and becoming still.

All creation knows its own name

it served upon itself

we become distinct

but intrinsically one whole.

In all creation

I would know your name

not distinct from my own,

intrinsically we are whole.

There is no place

the world exists

without itself;

to exist, it must be what it is.

There is no place

that I exist

without you;

to exist, we must be what we are to each other.

The crystal falls from heaven

shattering into a thousand pieces

though pieces remain for now, together and alone

I know who you are.

I will always be with you

the unity of all existence lies within our love.

2008

A life to be lived in happiness

Through the silence

Her heart falls.

Through the ambience,

Her throat calls.

Through once broken fragments

It turns.

Through the once fulfilled pieces,

It yearns.

In the mixture of bravado and sound

She finds meaning.

In the tightness that abounds

She finds truth.

Though the walls threaten

Through the walls make no mistake

She rises from the toll.

She will not be laid bare

As in times past.

She will not be made to stare

As other bask.

Now the speller agrees

The one who sees all.

This time the world turns

And finally hears lonely her call.

1/16/09

The Turning

The turning

The cranking wheels of my subconscious.

The voices

The madness

The ever-present engine running this factory.

I’m too excited to sleep.

Or is it too awake.

To many dreams going on in the daylight

To warrant closing my eyes.

Perhaps it’s all just whirlwinds;

A tornado of shoulds and motion

Swirling in the distance,

Eating up the hours.

What is time anyhow?

Who gave away all his secrets.

Which arrow points to the hour

The hour I waited for you.

Too many sad poems about riddles

That never find their mystery.

Too many verbs without good solid nouns

To lift them up into eternity.

Too many lines torn apart by spaces.

Too many spaces.

All in all it’s just a dream;

Some distant wondering.

Some forgotten who.

Is it you?

The stars swirl and I find

that I’m falling into the pieces

of miss of you.

So many dark days lost in the amber light.

So many beating drums,

beating through my chest,

choking on the vibration.

All I wanted

was dreamed easily within my grasp.

I imagine worlds upon worlds

they all have your face.

Still I cannot find you in this one.

I hear whispers,

sad songs that make me believe

your breath is alive;

awake in the everything.

You are my heart.

I wonder if I am alive in yours,

if we are real to each other.

Or am I an old tree lost in the forest of everything,

imagining I see the sun.

If you exists, and if you are not,

I miss you the same.

I miss you more than my fingertips

that touch my face and pretend.

I miss you more than the smoke covered mirrors,

the twilights of this world.

I miss you like I miss my soul

aghast at the nothingness that surrounds me.

Lost in the immortalities,

I search for your shadow.

Or am I the shadow,

endlessly searching for your light.

Searching for an end to this feeling.

This ache without name.

This emotion without purpose.

This unrequited love.

This made up fairytale.

This Band-Aid.

This yearning in a world of reasonless noise.