Tuesday, January 4, 2011


“Till the end of time I will be by your side,” was all that he had the strength to whisper. He kissed her head then placed it back upon his chest, embracing her at last. A tear slid down her pale cheek as they held each other in the coming dawn.

She loved him, and they knew it. She was torn between the warrior that she was, and this new woman attempting to fuse itself with the old. The world was entrenched in gray as the night slipped from them. She cursed that world of gray, where everything no longer was day or night…it was everything. It was her.

He stared out, wanting nothing more than to run away with her. He knew that if they stayed, she would leave and go to his chambers. Bed him. Be his Queen. He breathed in her hair; it was still the scent of all the wild summers they had spent together in their childhood. It was the smell of their adventures, and her untamed spirit before it became tainted with the task of death.

He had loved her even then, when he had seen so much of all that was wild and forbidden within her. As he grew, however, it was that same part he grew to hate. He hoped it would die somewhere within her; that piece that no man could tame. It called for the same wild within someone, a wild he had never possessed. He reached his hand into his pocket and folded his thick fingers around the small turquoise stone.

Despite his strong desires he pulled his heart from her, it was too much for him to take. He looked off into the distance as the sun began to rise and the unknown was eaten away by all that he had known and loved; the times spent together under the glorious sun. He pulled back, attempting to appear sane, though a part of him had lost itself that night.

“Come, it is getting late,” he stated plainly. His face wincing with what he had to say next. “He will be missing you…go to him.”

“But…” She attempted to pull herself back against his chest, wanting to stay there forever, to never face her questions and fears, but he held her at arms length.

He stroked her cheek calmly, something strange and resolute forming in his eyes. The way he looked longingly into her, she knew that there was so much he wanted to say and she longed to hear it.

She longed for words that he could never express. For him to say that no one would deserve her, that he didn’t either, but that he would try. She wanted him to promise that they would live together, in darkness, and in light. She wanted them to have adventures again, like they did in the innocence of their youth.

He continued to hold her back as she shook her head, knowing her hopes were useless. You won’t venture into this new world with me will you, she thought, as a solitary tear streamed down her cheek.

“Is your love for the sun so much stronger than your love for me,” she whispered, “or is my need for darkness greater than my need for you.” Though they were so close he didn’t hear her, he couldn’t. His mind was too entrapped in all that he was loosing.

He longed to have the same spark he saw within her. Was there nothing he could do? Was he so different from the woman he had grown to love? He looked sharply in her eyes and in their depths he knew the answer. Maybe if he had been born in another lifetime, or in another place, where he hadn’t been made to become so cold; maybe then he could deserve her love.

It was too late, however; he could never be like that turquoise stone he keeps in his pocket. He was as plain and as sturdy as the cream rocks that had surrounded it. He was just a boy when he’d plucked it from the river. Just a boy who had sought a gift for a girl worthy of her beauty. Still, to this day it’s in his pocket. A reminder of his inability to bridge the gap between what she needs and who he truly is.

They stood there silently. She had hoped that maybe there might be some chance of his voice finding her. Nothing. He contained himself like he always had, as a man, hiding behind his callous. If he could only see what she had seen when they were younger. He had been her equal then, not physically, but in his hunger for more.

Her eyes stared at his, not desperately as before but soberly. It was like a murky cloud had covered their view, steeling away the sun from them both. A goodbye.

He walked away, and this time she was left with his silhouette against the rising sun. His walk was like the river, strong and alive, but sturdy and seldom to change. She knew all too well that he had convinced himself of a lesser life. He always had. It was that choice alone that would make him unable to love her. He had choked his spark. Every moment he denied his true self, it diminished. Hers had never left, never extinguished. She’d only learned to masked it, like he was masking his now.

The sun was glaring at her, daring her, taunting her, and calling her home to all that was familiar. She hated the man waiting in his bed chamber for her. She hated them all in a way. She hadn’t wanted to live for such a long time, and yet it seemed the more she longed for escape the more lives she placed in jeopardy. She knew all too well she was forever sealed to the fate of others, her life was not her own.

Pivoting away from the sun, she denied her dark thoughts of giving up. She was a warrior and she defied a world that would hold her hostage by her fears. She would not allow her judgments to become self-consumed. In her mind, her emotions were not as important as the needs of her people. She had loved him, but she could not leave her men behind, and she could not betray this new life coming to her now, this odd sense of belonging.

Breathing in deep, she made her way down the stone streets. The sun grew hot on her back and beads of sweat dripped down her thighs as she walked. A slight smile crossed her face as she remembered the constant heat of the valley she grew up in and the cold of the place she was heading.

Light had never been her enemy, though sometimes she would hate it too. Now it felt like an old friend, patting her on the back and giving her the strength she needed to continue walking away. To leave him and all her memories behind forever.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Half

Light shifts and she finds herself awake. That dream. Shaking her head a leaf falls from her blond hair. Living in the park is all it's cracked up to be. She shoves the sleeping bag to her right.

"Get up Roger."

He grunts and rolls to his side.

"Too early."

She jabs him in the stomach with her elbow.

"Get up."

He laughs, wincing as he sits against the park bench.

"I liked you better when you were human."

She sneers staring into his cold blue eyes. She did too. But there's no choice. She has to be hard. To run, hide, and cower like some kind of animal from her own kind. Humans...how can they be so naive.

Looking at her hands she pushes her thumb deep into her palm. What is she fighting for. They will never understand what it's like to be practically immortal. She pushes her thumb in harder. No scar. No trace of the deep gash from the night before. No wonder they hunt them.

She tries to remember what it's like to be so fragile. She can crush steel beams with her pinky. And if she wanted to, if she finally gave up her weak morality...she could kill everyone in this city. Even the ones they call Hunters. Nothing is a match for her strength.

Then, she would be like them. She looks at Roger's distant gaze. His carefree face. All of mankind could be cut open, bleeding in agony, and it wouldn't bother him. Why then\why does he follow her, stay by her side, resist the temptation to feed.

A low growl escapes his jaw.

"We'd better get going. It seems breakfast has found us."

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Breaking the boundaries. Folding the table. Moving the chairs. Awaking the dragon. All in a days work. Too many people spend their lives in the nothing, the in between. The silence awaiting storm.

My brain boils as I watch them. Longing to remember what it was like to be human. So long ago. Miles away from a shore I never visit. I am The Hunter now. My real name doesn't matter anymore. If I could remember it, who would cry out. Shout for me in the madness. Not these creatures. Not the lonely stars staring at my aged face. Not her...

Tears as pale as the moon. If she could say my name it would be worth remembering. But I am no master of death. I run from it with every sword, every stroke. I've always run. Killing to survive. I could stop. Stop hunting them. All these faces, all of these people walking by...it would burst through. Dragons are known to bend dimensions. They can't see it, waiting for them, hungry.

I could lie. Say I do it for them. But I'm no fool. When I fight I know it's to feel. It stopped when they took her, the feeling, the caring. My hands shake. For someone who hates life, I really shouldn't be so afraid to die.

Still there he sits. In plain sight he sleeps. I blend in with everyone, the mindless humans who don't believe. Who can't see. One of the most beautiful things in the universe; a dragon with his eyes closed.

I've watched stars explode. Light devour galaxies. Suns burn the surface of worlds. Her face. It's the one thing i can't forget. I see it in the monster sleeping. She loved that moment, right before. I can still see it now. In the reflection of it's eyes opening. Her smile.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Here

The shores of existence wrap around endless sound. All of the creatures stir. Nightmares, daydreams, they dance like melting ice. My mind begins to thaw. How did I end up here? On a ship in the middle of the ocean.

The white dress clinging to my thighs moves like shadows across my frame. Blond curls whip my face. The storm in the distance pulls a ribbon from my hair. It makes it's way to the water. One fleck of color in the grey.

The deck's lit up like a carnival. Silence. An empty theme park. Only the waves and the fast beating of my heart. And a clock. Tick. Tick. First fast, then slow.

Alone. And yet, I've been here before. Waiting. Waiting...for him. I don't know who he is, or why it's the same dream. Here I stand. Here I wait.

A smell. Musk and blood. The sun's devoured in the storm. He 's coming.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Now

It's black. Marrow drips from my blade like warm death, and I curse the river of time that brought me here. To this wretched moment. This doom. This forsaken birthplace of shadows that stalk stars. Of moons to a planet I once called home.

She stares across the room. She doesn't see me. The man waiting. Eating the moments in between like bile rising in his throat. I have to kill her. I've crossed dimensions. Died, and been reborn. Just to end up here. Waiting in the dark. Covered in grit. Chest torn. Waiting to kill a privileged child that cursed mankind forever. A child with blond curls and soft blue eyes.

She looks like Mika. My own daughter that would die by her hand. Like all the worlds in this galaxy. Blue eyes. What a color.

It reminds me of the last time I saw her, crying Daddy under the moon by the ocean. Turning everything blue. It will always remind me of the last moment, just before she was infected. Before she became one of them.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

March


To be in the world and to dream
awake and softly sleeping,
one candle in the light of day
its flame not in comparison
to the awakening sun.
I wish quietly that you were here,
here in the empty pages,
here in the filtered light.
I prefer to write on canvas
seeing the truth
in the absence of sound;
where is your voice?
Nestled in my corner of madness
I smile at the peering eyes that guess
who am I?
Conversations buy wind
increasing the saturation,
perhaps it’s time for music?
Shall I dance alone
to the melody
as I have danced the dance
of ghosts gone by?
Or once,
once in the empty spaces
will you grab my hand,
that I might
be in the world; to not dream,
awake, no longer sleeping;
a universe
against the soft light of the sun.